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Having a baby shower is a nice way to help new parents get off on the right foot with all they need. It’s a chance for loved ones to demonstrate to the parents that they care and are there for them. For some people, holding a shower for a second baby was not considered proper, as the parents probably already had most of the items they needed. However, it has become more acceptable to hold showers for a second baby, but with certain modifications.

You might also make it a “baby” baby shower – as in a shower focusing on those small, basic items that are always going to be needed, like burping cloths, diapers, and other essentials. You might ask mom and dad what items they still need and let the guests know. Some people choose to hold a shower where the gifts are for mom, with guests bringing items that she’ll likely need during the final weeks leading up to, as well as after, the birth. She’ll appreciate receiving something soothing like aromatherapy candles, or even something for day-to-day use, like a soft robe.

It can also be especially fun to throw a shower that reminds the mom that she wont be pregnant forever, with gifts like lingerie, chocolate treats, alcoholic beverages, and other items. You might want to arrange for tickets or gift certificates to some special event or treat, like a concert or spa day – but be sure to include babysitting. Another idea is to have a planning meeting with dad and the guests before the party, in order to schedule days and times where help is likely to be needed, using a dry-erase calendar.

There are many things you can do that will be appreciated, like getting the house organized while mom and baby are in the hospital, taking the older child to and from school (especially during that first week) or helping mom and dad juggle kids while doing errands. The finished calendar, with names and phone numbers in case of adjustments, can be presented to mom at the shower. In some cases, both mom and baby are set, and don’t need anything new. Or, consider having a simple party, featuring good food, music, and the mom’s loved ones.

Optionally, guests can bring unwrapped baby gifts and these can be donated to a womens charity or other organization that can put them to good use. You can also ask guests to bring a dish that can go in the freezer or stored in tupperware (a “freezer” party instead of a traditional shower). Mom will appreciate this help in the last days of her pregnancy and immediately after the birth. Be sure to check with mom first to find out if she has enough space, and also choose a date for the shower close to the delivery date.

A final note – if the baby-to-be is a “caboose” baby – one that is being born several years after the last child the parents had – you can feel comfortable hosting a traditional shower. Many times even the big items will no longer be around, or will need safety updates, so mom and dad will appreciate all the help they can get.

Even if the baby shower is small or minor in terms of gift-giving, the most important thing to remember is that it is an opportunity to show the mom-to-be your love for her and her little one.

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